


In Memoriam: Pray Not for the Dead, But for the Living

by lostandlonelybirds (RUNNFROMTHEAK)



Series: In Memoriam [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Heroes in Crisis (DCU Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst and Feels, Becuase my boys have feelings and Wally's death was literally glossed over and no, Better Than Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, DC can meet me in the fucking pits, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson-centric, Dick and Roy were MENDING, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I will not let that be, Jason Todd Has Feelings, Mentions of Forever Evil, Oops was that a spoiler?, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Post-Heroes in Crisis (DCU), Post-Spyral, Rage, This storyline will never not be trash, Trauma, Unbetaed we die like Wally and Roy, almost any Wattpad fanfic is better than canon, and Tom King? We need to talk, and Wally JUST CAME BACK, but that’s a very low bar, if I had three wishes all three of them would be my hostile takeover of dc, its my canon now, what the fuck, with no comfort here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22684903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RUNNFROMTHEAK/pseuds/lostandlonelybirds
Summary: He’s too weak to fight the arms lifting him up, but he still tries, until he sees the green of Jason’s eyes.The green ringed with red, puffy.Jason never cries, and if he does, he never shows it.“Pretty Bird…”“They’re dead,” he interrupts, looking Jason in the eyes. “Aren’t they?”Jason looks down, and that’s answer enough for him.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Roy Harper, Dick Grayson & Wally West
Series: In Memoriam [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632112
Comments: 28
Kudos: 302





	In Memoriam: Pray Not for the Dead, But for the Living

**Author's Note:**

> Hello angst! In between working on WIPs this piece popped into my head bc DC doesn't believe in grief apparently, and bc Pennyworth RIP came out. I might write a piece on Alfred's death, but I also might not cause I'm still in denial about it.  
> Hope you enjoy!!

Dick gets the news at two in the morning, hanging off the top of a rooftop and scouting out his latest drug bust. He’s alone, same way he’s been since he returned from the not-so dead. Too afraid to cling to Damian, too angry to cling to Bruce…

( _who else is left, who else cares? Not like all is forgiven with the Titans, even after Wally’s resurrection/reappearance_ )

Blüdhaven is familiar, as much as he hates it.

Loneliness is familiar too, and he really hates that.

At least drug dealers are consistent, makes his life a bit more bearable.

“ _Dick_ …”

It’s Jason’s voice that fills his rarely used comm (Babs forced him to take it, for emergencies, even if no one wanted to talk to him on it), and that’s enough for Dick to nearly fall from his perch. He steadies himself at the last possible minute, gut dropping as the adrenaline swoops in.

Jason wasn’t one to call, one to talk to him _period_ , especially after the fucked-up mess that was Spyral. Even more so after Dick fled from the family, from the judgement and anger and guilt every time he looked at Gotham, every time he and Bruce met eyes over the silent dinner table or Alfred left the room he walked into.

“Hey Hood,” He responds quietly, unable to fake the always ready cheer at that moment. “What can I do for ya?”

The line is silent, and he almost thinks Jason hung up before he hears the muttered ‘ _fucking hell_ ’ on the other line.

“ _I thought you’d know_ ,” Jason says finally, softly, something gentle in his voice that Dick hasn’t heard from him since before Damian’s death at least, sometime during that weird cease-fire they’d had when he’d been Batman and Jason had been Red Hood and Bruce had been dead ( _Dick misses those times fiercely, when everything was simpler and harder at the same time_ ).

“ _I didn’t think **I’d** be the one to fuckin’ tell you_.”

Dick’s heart quickens, scenarios of various scenarios that Jason would feel the need to tell him about running through his mind.

“Tell me what?”

He can hear Jason’s heavy breathing on the other side, deep, and nowhere near as comforting as they should be.

“Little Wing… what happened?”

It’s when Jason doesn’t yell at him for the nickname that Dick knows something is truly wrong. Something happened, bad enough for Jason to call, bad enough for him to drop the anger and bitterness temporarily.

“Jay…who…?”

“ _Wally_ ,” and it sounds like it was ripped from him, something raw and ugly in his voice, choked and pained. “ _Roy… him too_.”

He blinks, vision hazing as Jason’s voice grows distant.

“ _Dick_?”

It doesn’t compute, doesn’t add up.

Wally, what, disappeared in the speed force again? Did he take Roy with him? Shouldn’t be too difficult to fix, just get Barry to –

“ _Wing, talk to me…_ ”

Blood pounds in his ears, something stirring in his gut that he hasn’t felt in a good long time, since Damian died, since Bruce died, since Donna had died ( _but they all came back, eventually, so it doesn’t matter, and they’re fine. They have to be fine…_ )

“ _Dick, please…”_

He’d seen Wally the other day, hadn’t he? Roy too.

Another attempt to rebuild what had been taken from them, the friendship that they’d forgotten, to overcome the bitterness between Roy and Dick.

And it had been a balm for his lonely soul, even with the way Roy glared after him, the way he’d say things like a joke even though he _meant it_ (Dick was no stranger to it, after all, he has experience from his brothers).

He doesn’t hear Jason on the comm, doesn’t hear the thundering of the sky or the sound of heavy-duty boots on concrete beneath him.

“ _Dickhead, come in you fuckin’--”_

A flash of lightning strikes the water, and Dick jumps to his feet.

Wally had played with lightning, passed it around like a hack sack in elementary school.

“ _Shocking, isn’t it?”_ he’d joked, and Roy and Dick had looked each other in the eyes for a moment grinning as they groaned, even if the common ground hadn’t lasted long.

“ _Dick…are you still there? Respond goddamnit!”_

He laughs, laughs loud and hard, loud enough that the smugglers look up, loud enough that guns are cocked and he’s now dodging bullets, and he _can’t stop laughing_.

“ _Grayson, I’m on my way. Don’t do anything stup--_ ”

He disconnects the comm, smashing it under his foot and launching himself at the mass.

“It’s Nightwing!” one of them shouts, and his shouts turn to screams when he throws a wingding into the thug’s stomach, when the blood starts pouring out and…

_“That’s a stupid name, Rob.”_

_He rolls his eyes at Roy good naturedly._

_“Like ‘Red Arrow’ is any better? Bit on the nose, isn’t it?”_

_Roy flicks his nose in retaliation._

_“Fuck off, short pants._ ”

_Dick’s eyes glint with mischief._

_“Or what?”_

_Roy grins from under his bangs (and it’s almost enough for Dick to ignore the bloodshot eyes, the gauntness in his best friend’s cheeks_ )

“ _Or I’ll tell Kory about your little crush…”_

_“Dude!”_

He snaps back when a bullet grazes his ear, tearing the flesh off in a way he barely feels, barely notices…

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! I thought you were the _nice Bat!”_

Dick twists the thug’s arm and flips over him, wrenching it out of the socket with a loud ‘ _pop_ ’

Uncaring of the blood running with the rain, off the men left screaming on the ground.

“ _Get the fuck outta here! Bat brat’s gone fucking insane!”_

He doesn’t hear that either, or he _does_ , but it sounds _distant_ and _hazy_ , like a faded memory, or a bad cell reception.

He’s still laughing, even as dampness slides down his cheeks, from the rain or something else, even as bullets stray a bit too close for comfort, and screams flood the air…

_“Jesus Christ, Rob, you’re terrifying.”_

_He grins widely at Wally over the perp’s shoulder._

_“Learned from the best!”_

_Wally snorts, glancing back at the man tied to the chair. He sniffs the air, making a face._

_“Did he pee himself?!”_

_Dick just grins._

_“Bats,” his best friend mutters, “I’ll never understand them.”_

…and there’s no one left, the docks silent beyond the whimpers of thugs lying on the ground.

“Wha’ happen’ ta you?” one asks, eyes both darkened from his fists.

“Shut up,” he says, flipping his escriyma sticks on and holding it over the thug’s head…

“ _Shut up! You actually managed to get a date?!”_

_Dick elbows Roy in the ribs, grinning at Wally._

_“Congrats dude! Who is it?”_

_Wally’s cheeks flush, and he murmurs something unintelligible beneath his breath._

_“Sorry, didn’t catch that!”_

_Wally glares at him._

_“Artemis…”_

_Dick snorts._

_“You two have a type.”_

_“Oh shut it, Grayson, we all know about you and your redheads…”_

**_“Stop…”_ **

The memory slips from his grasp as he falls to the blood-soaked cement, curling in on himself as the rain falls upon him.

He sees the sky, but he sees other things too.

He sees Wally stuttering after Donna,

He sees Roy naming him Lian’s godfather,

He sees Wally learn to master his powers,

He sees Roy overcome his addiction,

( _He sees the different ways they could have died, before, how they could have died, now, sees their corpses as vividly as he sees the clouds above him…_ )

He’s too weak to fight the arms lifting him up, but he still tries, until he sees the green of Jason’s eyes.

The green ringed with red, puffy.

Jason never cries, and if he does, he never shows it.

“Pretty Bird…”

“They’re dead,” he interrupts, looking Jason in the eyes. “Aren’t they?”

Jason looks down, and that’s answer enough for him.

Dead dead deaddeaddeaddead

D

E

A

D

( _isn’t that why Wally had left, what felt like forever ago? Isn’t that why Roy had quit, before joining the Outlaws?_ )

An ugly sound breaks the silent night, and it takes Dick a minute to realize it’s coming from him.

“Shhh, calm down. You’re gonna hurt yourself…”

( _Did anyone live? Did anyone stay safe?_

_Jason_

_alone in a warehouse, buried six feet under, while he galivants around space_

_Donna_

_His weakness and his ineptitude, she died to defend him, because he wasn’t fast enough and she’d always been faster_

_Bruce_

_on another planet, a planet Dick hadn’t been on, but he’d still failed him, somehow, he could’ve done something, and he didn’t help save him either_

_Damian_

_at his mother’s behest, at the hands of the clone Dick didn’t kill until his corpse cooled, because he failed everyone_

_Stephanie_

_he hadn’t been there enough, hadn’t supported her enough, hadn’t defended her against Bruce or done a damn thing_

_Him_

_hisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthowcouldhehavebeensostupid_

_Wally_

_Roy_ )

He’s alone.

They’re all dead.

Deaddead

D

E

A

D

“Pretty Bird, you gotta _breathe_ …”

(and somehow, he knows this time Wally and Roy aren’t going to come back)

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
